How to Not Be Socially Awkward: 6 Smooth Moves
Science of People Team 6 min read
In This Article
Learn how to not be socially awkward with 6 fixes for common slip-ups.
Are you socially awkward?
It seems I am a magnet for any and all kinds of awkward social situations.
So much so that I decided to create a post on all of the social traps and how you can avoid them.
Awkward Situation #1: Forgetting You Have Met Someone Before
Has this ever happened to you? You walk up to someone and say, “Nice to meet you!” And then they say, “Uh, we have met before, like a bunch of times.” And you’re, like, “OMG awkward!”
Social Fail
I am constantly meeting people I have met before at parties and networking events. I frequently forget I’ve met them and then have to go through this awkward re-introduction, apology, and foot-in-mouth process.
The Social Save: Never, ever say, “Nice to meet you.” Always, always say, “Nice to see you.” Whether you are meeting someone for the first time or not, this always works, and it’s a nice thing to say.
Awkward Situation #2: You Laughed at a Joke You Didn’t Get
It looks like this.
[Fake laughing]
And then, someone calls you on it.
“So what do you think about that?”
Social Fail
And while there are many social fails we may experience, there are also plenty of social wins! You can learn how to win more at social skills by grabbing the free chapter of the best-selling book:
The Social Save: Sometimes I have trouble hearing people in loud bars and sometimes I am too slow to get witty jokes, so this happens to me fairly often. The best thing to do is actually turn this into a joke yourself. Here’s what I say when this happens:
[Fake laughing]
“So what do you think about that?”
“Oh, I have no idea what you were talking about, but I was laughing to appear engaged and friendly, haha.”
Awkward Situation #3: Someone Knows Your Name and You Don’t Know Theirs
They say, “Hey, Vanessa!” And you’re, like, “Hey….you!”
Social Fail
Ugh it’s the worst! Names are really tough to remember. First, use the ‘Nice to see you’ to buy yourself time. Second, ask them for their card with something like, “Hey, did I get your card last time? If not, can I grab it again?” or, best of all, if you came with someone, set-up a secret cue beforehand.
The Social Save: My husband and my friends all know that if we ever introduce the other first, we don’t know the person’s name and they have to ask. It goes like this:
“Hey, Vanessa!”
“Hey, good to see you! Have you met my friend, Hayley?”
“Hi! I’m Hayley, what’s your name?”
Awkward Situation #4: You Put Your Foot in Your Mouth
You did it, and it tasted bad. You put your foot in your mouth.
You asked a woman if she was pregnant, and she wasn’t.
Social Fail
You asked how their job was going, and they got fired.
Social Fail
You asked about their spouse, and they got divorced.
Social Fail
The Social Save: No worries! It happens to me all the time. I have found the best thing to do when this happens is to turn on a little humor, apologize quickly and move it along. Here’s my go-to line:
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I need to get us both more ______.” (fill in the blank: wine, cocktails, snacks, cupcakes)
Or if you are truly desperate, you can just fill in the blank by saying:
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I need to get myself more tact.” They laugh, you laugh and awkwardness is saved.
And remember, it’s all about how YOU feel in the situation. Because emotions are contagious. Here’s how I know—check out my TED Talk!
Awkward Situation #5: You Talk About Things You Know Nothing About
Admit it; sometimes you say you know things, people, and facts that you actually have no idea about.
Oh yes, The Bloody Monsters, love that band…
Who? Carol Klingmanpooper? Oh yes, I love her political policy!
Hmm, definitely loved that book Bridge to Nowhere. Yeah….
And then, someone calls you on it.
Their favorite song? Oh…ummm.
Social Fail
What do I think of Carol Klingmanpooper’s foreign policy? Hmm…
Social Fail
What did I take away from the book? Did I love the ending?
Social Fail
The Social Save: I am a big fan of coming clean and stopping the lie before it gets too far. In fact, you can use this as an opportunity to ask someone else’s opinion—and everyone loves sharing their opinion. When this happens, just fess up and toss it back to them. It looks like this:
You know, I’m not sure. How about you?
Actually, I have no idea. Can you update me on it?
I don’t know if I ever really read it. Remind me?
Awkward Situation #6: Steer the Chat Flow
Awkwardness spikes when talks stall—keep it moving by steering with purpose. This tip hands you control to dodge dead air or weird tangents. Use the tables below to guide any convo smoothly.
Table 1: Chat Stall Fixes
| Stall Type | Steer Move | Example Line | Why It Works |
|---|---|---|---|
| Topic dries up | Pivot to their interest | “What’s your take on…?” | Shifts focus, keeps flow |
| Silence creeps in | Toss a light question | “Ever tried that new spot?” | Fills gap, invites reply |
| Group goes quiet | Link to shared vibe | “This reminds me of…” | Ties everyone back in |
Table 2: Flow Keepers
| Risk Moment | Quick Fix | Say This | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|
| You ramble | Cut short, ask back | “Enough from me—what’s up with you?” | Avoids overload, balances |
| They overshare | Nod, redirect | “Got it—how’s that other thing going?” | Eases out, keeps it light |
| Tension spikes | Neutral bridge | “Speaking of which, anyone see…?” | Defuses, moves forward |
Convos tank when no one drives—steer it like a pro. Table 1 fixes stalls: dry topic? Pivot. Silence? Toss a question. Group fade? Link it up. Table 2 handles risks: rambling? Flip it back. Overshare? Glide away. Tension? Bridge it. It’s not about dazzling—it’s about flow. You’re the rudder, not the spotlight—keep it moving, and awkwardness fades. Practice these, and you’ll glide through chats like it’s nothing.
Action Step: Next chat, pick 1 steer move from Table 1 (e.g., “What’s your take on…?”), use it when the vibe dips, and note how it shifts within 2 minutes.
Oh, there are so many more awkward situations I have gotten myself into, but I think that’s plenty for now. Have situations you want me to tackle? Tweet me @Vvanedwards My #awkwardchallenge is…I want to hear from you!