Am I Likable? Take The Likable Person Test (Free)
Science of People Team 10 min read
In This Article
Are you likable? Ever wonder why some people seem to effortlessly draw others in? It's not magic—it's a set of learnable skills! Take our quick quiz below to...
Are you likable? Ever wonder why some people seem to effortlessly draw others in? It’s not magic—it’s a set of learnable skills! Take our quick quiz below to see where you stand on the likability scale.
Then, dive into our breakdown of universal traits that make people irresistibly likable. Whether you’re a social pro or looking to boost your charm, we’ve got you covered!
The Likable Person Test
Ready to dive into the test? Click the button below - it’s free and no email sign-up is required!
What Does it Mean to Be Likable?
To be likable means to possess qualities that easily evoke fondness, approval, or affection from others. It describes someone who is pleasant, agreeable, or easy to like, and who inspires feelings of warmth and goodwill in social interactions.
Some might even say that focusing on likability is insincere or manipulative, a way of molding oneself to please others at the expense of authenticity. However, that’s not the case!
In fact, one study (source) found that when candidates have similar qualifications, the one perceived as more likable is hired nearly 90% of the time!
Likability often outweighs skills and experience in hiring decisions.
11 Traits of Highly Likable People
Reliability: the human equivalent of a Swiss watch
Likable people are dependable. They show up when they say they will, do what they promise, and don’t leave others hanging. And hey, they’ve got strong boundaries and are not afraid to say no when they’re overcommitted.
Here are some great examples of reliability:
- You said you’d call at 7 PM. Your phone rings at 6:59.
- Your friend’s car broke down. You’re there in 15 minutes, just like you promised.
- You always bring snacks to game night, even when you’re tired. The party doesn’t start till you walk in.
- Your coworker asks for that report “when you have a chance.” It’s in their inbox within the hour.
Quick tip: Jot down every commitment you make this week, no matter how small. Check them off as you complete them. At week’s end, review any you missed.
Humor: Laughter is the best social lubricant
A fascinating pollD) Being reliable and trustworthy found that a sense of humor was five times more important than sex when it comes to building a successful marriage! But it’s not just about dating. Humor is important in all types of relationships, from friendships to work.
Likable people can lighten the mood when things get tense. They’re quick with a witty comment or a self-deprecating joke. The key is… they laugh with people, not at them (which is why some types of humor like sarcasm can easily backfire).
Quick tip: Spend a minute each day jotting down anything amusing that happened. It could be a silly mistake you made, a witty comment you overheard, or a ridiculous situation you encountered.
Empathy: It’s not just about you
Likable people have a knack for putting themselves in other people’s shoes. When a friend’s upset, they’re not just waiting for their turn to talk—they’re really trying to understand what’s going on.
Here’s the thing: People who are empathetic don’t always fix problems. And that’s OK. They’re more about making people feel heard and understood. Likable folks ask questions, nod along, and show they’re genuinely interested. They’re not perfect mind-readers, but they make an effort to see things from different angles.
Quick tip: Next time someone’s talking, try to focus on the other and imagine how they’re feeling. Are they excited? Worried? Proud? Responding to their emotions, not just their words, can make a big difference. Learn more about being empathetic in our guide: The 15 Habits of Highly Empathetic People
Active listening: actually paying attention
Likable people are actually listening. Like, really listening. They make good eye contact, nod along, and ask follow-up questions.
Likable people remember details from past conversations and bring them up later. They’re great at recall jokes and don’t interrupt or try to one-up your story with their own (that’s a very toxic trait, FYI). Instead, they make you feel like the most important person in the room.
Next time you’re chatting, challenge yourself to uncover three interesting details about the other person or their story. Then, weave these details into your responses.
Want to learn 5 magic likability phrases? Check them out in our founder Vanessa Van Edwards’ training on how to be more likable.
Positivity: Not toxic, just uplifting
Likable people aren’t walking around with fake smiles plastered on their faces (real smiles are called Duchenne smiles, by the way). They’re just generally optimistic and upbeat.
These folks are like mood elevators. They celebrate others’ successes without jealousy and offer genuine encouragement during tough times. They crack jokes to lighten the mood, but never at someone else’s expense. And they’re positive but not in a toxic way.
Quick tip: Try to give five genuine, specific compliments to different people today. But here’s the twist: they can’t be about appearance. Focus on actions, qualities, or achievements instead!
Adaptability: Go with the flow, but make it look good
Likable people are like social chameleons. They’re comfortable at a black-tie gala or a backyard BBQ. These folks don’t freak out when plans change; they pivot and make the best of it.
Take a look at the following table; can you identify any non-adaptable behaviors you frequently do?
| Adaptable | Non-Adaptable |
|---|---|
| Goes with the flow when plans change | Gets upset or shuts down when things don’t go as planned |
| Adjusts communication style based on audience | Uses the same approach regardless of who they’re talking to |
| Willing to try new things or methods | Stubbornly sticks to “the way it’s always been done” |
| Stays calm in unexpected situations | Panics or complains when surprises occur |
| Open to feedback and different viewpoints | Defensive when faced with new ideas or criticism |
| Finds workarounds for obstacles | Gives up when the original plan doesn’t work |
| Comfortable in various social settings | Only at ease in familiar environments |
| Learns and applies new skills readily | Resists learning new technologies or techniques |
| Collaborates well with different personality types | Works well with only a specific type of person |
| Sees change as an opportunity | Views change as a threat |
Quick tip: Pick just one “Adaptable” behavior from the table that you find challenging. Focus on practicing that single behavior for a whole week. Maybe it’s “staying calm in unexpected situations” or “being open to feedback.” Keep a quick tally of how often you succeed. At week’s end, reflect on how it affected your interactions. Small, focused changes can make a big difference in your adaptability.
But if you really want to make a big change, try our resource here:
Generosity: It’s not about the money, honey
Let’s say ou’re moving into a new apartment. It’s hot, you’re exhausted, and there’s still a mountain of boxes to unpack. Suddenly, your neighbor pops by. “Hey, I made too much pizza. Want some?” They hand you a plate of cheesy goodness and offer to help with a few boxes. In that moment, they’re not just a neighbor—they’re your hero!
That’s the power of generosity. Likable people are generous with their time, energy, and spirit.
Likable people give because it feels good, not because they’re expecting payback.
Quick tip: Each day, find one small way to be generous. Hold the door open, share your expertise with a colleague, or text a friend just to check in.
Authenticity: The secret of likability
Whenever you’re at a networking event or a party, there’s that one person who walks in, and the whole room lights up. They’re not the loudest or the most attractive, but there’s something magnetic about them. That’s authenticity in action!
Authenticity is about being unapologetically, refreshingly you. No masks, just the real deal.
Here’s the best part: authenticity is contagious. When you’re real, it gives others permission to be real too.
Quick tip: Being authentic isn’t always easy. It takes guts to be vulnerable, to stand by your values when it’s uncomfortable, to admit when you’re wrong. That’s why we have a great resource for you to live your authentic self:
Master your People Skills
Create a Memorable PresenceCommunicate with ConfidenceAchieve Your Goals
Have a question about the presentation or People School? Email Science of People support.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) on Likability
What are the key traits of a likable person?
The key traits of a likable person include empathy, active listening, positivity, authenticity, reliability, adaptability, humor, generosity, and authenticity. These traits help create positive connections with others, make people feel valued, and foster genuine relationships in both personal and professional settings.
Can likability be learned or improved?
Yes, likability can be learned and improved. While some people may naturally possess likable traits, these skills can be developed through practice and self-awareness. By focusing on specific traits like active listening, empathy, and authenticity, anyone can enhance their likability over time.
How does being likable affect professional success?
Being likable can significantly impact professional success. Studies have shown that likable employees are more likely to be hired, receive better performance evaluations, and even be recommended for higher salary increases. Likability also aids in building strong professional networks, fostering teamwork, and improving leadership effectiveness.
Is being likable the same as being a people-pleaser?
No, being likable is not the same as being a people-pleaser. Likable people are authentic and true to themselves, while people-pleasers often sacrifice their own needs or values to gain approval. Likability is about creating genuine connections and positive interactions, not about trying to make everyone happy all the time.
How can I become more likable without changing who I am?
To become more likable without changing your core self, focus on enhancing your natural strengths and working on skills like active listening and empathy. Practice authenticity by being true to your values and opinions while remaining open and respectful to others. Remember, the goal is to be the best version of yourself, not to become someone else entirely.
The Art of Being Likable
How did you do? Whether you’re likable now or working on being likable, remember that likability is a learned trait! Here are some key takeaways:
- Likability goes beyond charm, involving traits like empathy, active listening, and authenticity
- Scientific studies show likable people have better job prospects and stronger social networks
- Key traits include positivity, reliability, adaptability, humor, and generosity
- Authenticity stands out as the “secret sauce” of true likability
- Being likable doesn’t mean people-pleasing; it’s about genuine connections and being true to yourself
- Likability can be developed and improved with practice and self-awareness
Want to put your newfound likability skills to the test? Check out our article on 24 Best Tips for Networking Anytime, Anywhere to learn how to make meaningful connections in any social setting!