10 Essential Traits of a Great Life Coach

A great life coach doesn't give advice. They have specific traits that empower you to find your own answers. Here's what to look for.

Let’s be honest: at some point, we all feel a little stuck. Whether it’s in a career that feels like a dead end, a relationship that’s lost its spark, or just a nagging sense that we’re not living up to our potential. It’s a universal human experience.

That’s where the idea of a life coach comes in. The term “coach” used to be reserved for athletes, but today, it describes a powerful partnership for personal and professional growth.

But what separates a truly great life coach from someone just dispensing cliché advice? It’s not a secret formula. Science and practice show that the most effective life coaches have mastered a specific set of learnable traits that empower others to change their own lives.

We are so honored to help you find authentic connections! If you are struggling to find the help you need, please note that all content found on this website is not to be considered professional medical advice. It is always best to consult a doctor or licensed therapist with any questions or concerns in regards to your physical or mental health. For a good resource for therapists, you can check out Mental Health America’s helpful list.

What Does a Great Life Coach Actually Do?

A great life coach is a thought partner and an accountability champion. They help you get crystal clear on what you want, identify the obstacles holding you back, and then create a concrete plan to bridge that gap. Their job isn’t to give you the answers, but to help you find your own.

Despite some misconceptions, a life coach is NOT a therapist, a consultant, or your new best friend who just agrees with everything you say. A coach’s power lies in their ability to facilitate your self-discovery.

And science backs up the real benefits of this approach. For example…

One study (source) found that life coaching interventions can significantly improve health outcomes by boosting self-efficacy and empowerment, especially for disadvantaged patients.
Another study (source) showed that health and wellness coaching leads to sustained gains in well-being, with most participants maintaining or improving outcomes like reduced stress and better goal adherence over time.
Research (source) demonstrated that life coaching helps people attain goals while also improving mental health, with participants reporting lower levels of anxiety and depression.

Essentially, the work of a great life coach boils down to a few core functions:

Asking powerful questions that challenge your assumptions.
Facilitating self-discovery so you can access your own inner wisdom.
Building forward momentum with actionable steps and clear goals.
Holding you accountable to the commitments you make to yourself.

A great coach operates from the belief that you are creative, resourceful, and whole. They’re not there to “fix” you. They’re there to help you unlock the potential you already possess.

The 10 Essential Traits of a Great Life Coach

The most effective life coaches share some key personality traits. Below are ten essential traits that define a truly great coach.

Unshakeable Empathy

Empathy isn’t just about feeling sorry for someone (that’s sympathy). It’s the ability to truly step into another person’s shoes and understand their perspective and feelings without judgment. A great coach uses empathy to build a foundation of trust.

Think of the work of researcher Dr. Brené Brown. Her entire career is built on showing how empathy creates connection and is the antidote to shame. A coach channels this by creating a space where a client feels deeply understood, which is the first step toward any meaningful change.

Action Step: Level up your empathy! The next time a friend shares a struggle, resist the urge to immediately offer a solution. Instead, try saying, “That sounds incredibly difficult. Tell me more about that feeling.” This validates their experience and deepens the connection.

Want more tips? Read on: The 15 Habits of Highly Empathetic People (Empathy Guide)

Powerful Questioning

Giving advice is easy. Asking a question that shatters a limiting belief is an art form. Great coaches are masters of the powerful question—open-ended inquiries that spark introspection and insight. They avoid “yes/no” questions and instead use prompts that begin with “What,” “How,” and “Imagine if.”

Tony Robbins is a master of this. In his seminars, he uses a rapid-fire Socratic style to force his audience to confront their own logic and discover their own answers. A question like, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” is infinitely more powerful than saying, “You should be more confident.”

Action Step: Level up your questioning skills! The next time a colleague or friend is stuck on a problem, stop yourself from suggesting a fix. Instead, ask them, “What’s the outcome you’re hoping for here?” or “What’s one small step that feels possible right now?”

Ask better questions. Read on for more: How to Ask Open-Ended Questions (& The 150 Best to Ask)

Deep Listening

Most of us listen while waiting for our turn to talk. A great coach practices deep listening—hearing what’s being said, what’s not being said, and the emotions underneath the words. They listen for values, beliefs, and fears.

Oprah Winfrey built an empire on this skill. When she interviews someone, she creates an environment where they feel safe enough to share their deepest truths. She listens with her whole body, reflecting their language and emotions back to them, making them feel completely and totally heard.

Action Step: Level up your listening! Borrow these tips from our guide on active listening.

Face the speaker and maintain relaxed eye contact.
Listen to their body language, not just their words.
Don’t interrupt. Let them finish their thought completely.
Listen without planning what you’re going to say next.
Ask clarifying questions like, “So what I’m hearing is… is that right?”

Pro Tip: Mirroring is one of the best ways to actively listen. Read our article for more: Mirroring Body Language: 5 Steps To Successfully Mirror Others

Non-Judgmental Presence

For coaching to work, a client has to feel safe enough to be radically honest—about their fears, their failures, and their wildest dreams. A great coach provides a non-judgmental space where vulnerability is welcomed. They leave their personal opinions and biases at the door.

For a great fictional example, look at Ted Lasso. He doesn’t judge his players for their mistakes or their egos. He meets every person with curiosity and unconditional positive regard, which in turn inspires them to be better.

Action Step: Level up your non-judgmental presence! Practice a simple mindfulness exercise. For two minutes, just notice the thoughts that pop into your head. Don’t engage with them or judge them; just observe them like clouds passing in the sky. This trains your brain to be an observer rather than a judge.

Meditation is great—check out our ultimate guide for more: How to Meditate Properly: A 7-Step Guide for Beginners

Strategic Objectivity

While empathy is crucial, a coach also needs to maintain a level of strategic objectivity. They can’t get so caught up in the client’s story that they lose sight of the bigger picture. Their value lies in being able to see the patterns, limiting beliefs, and opportunities that the client is too close to see.

Think of a great sports coach. They are deeply invested in their players’ success, but they also have the objectivity to analyze the game film, point out flaws in technique, and make tough strategic decisions for the good of the team.

Action Step: Level up your objectivity! When a friend is complaining about a situation, after you’ve listened empathetically, gently ask, “Is there another way to look at this?” or “If you were advising a friend in this exact situation, what would you tell them?”

Pro Tip: It’s not just about others’ complains that need dealing with—oftentimes, if you learn how to deal with your own conflicts in life, you can help others as well! Learn more: Solving Workplace Conflict in 8 Steps

Inspires Action & Accountability

Coaching isn’t a weekly chat session; it’s about creating real-world results. A great coach is relentlessly focused on action. At the end of every session, they ensure the client has a clear, concrete set of next steps. Then, they hold them accountable.

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, isn’t a life coach, but his work embodies this principle perfectly. His philosophy is that progress comes from small, consistent, and trackable actions. A great coach is the human system that helps you implement and stick to those actions.

Action Step: Level up your own accountability! Pick one small, meaningful goal for this week (e.g., go for a 20-minute walk three times). Write it down and send it to a friend. Ask them to text you on Friday to see if you did it.

Or read our article for more accountability help: 7 Smart Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable (& Be Disciplined)

Unwavering Integrity

Trust is the currency of coaching. A great coach operates with the highest level of integrity. This means strict confidentiality, transparency about their methods, and always putting the client’s interests first. They follow a strong ethical code.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) maintains a rigorous Code of Ethics that serves as the gold standard for the profession. A great coach lives by these principles, ensuring the coaching relationship is safe, professional, and built on a foundation of trust.

Action Step: Level up your integrity! Pick one of your core values (like honesty, kindness, or diligence). Today, find one small opportunity to consciously act in alignment with that value. Living with integrity starts with small, deliberate choices.

Read our article to pick your own core values: 300+ Core Values You’ll Ever Need For Work, Relationships, and Life

Boundless Curiosity

A great coach is endlessly curious. They don’t assume they know what’s best for the client. Instead, they have a genuine desire to understand the client’s unique world, their motivations, and their dreams. They approach every conversation with a “beginner’s mind.”

A wonderful fictional example is Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender. He guides his nephew, Zuko, not by giving him commands, but by asking gentle, probing questions that help Zuko discover his own path. His curiosity is his greatest tool for mentorship.

Action Step: Level up your curiosity! In your next conversation, try the “Five Whys” technique. When someone makes a statement, gently ask “Why?” in response to their answer a few times. It’s a simple way to move from surface-level chatter to deeper understanding.

You can also level up your curiosity naturally! Check out: Science of Curiosity: How Your Brain Gets Hooked

Cultivates Trust and Rapport

Rapport is the invisible chemistry that makes a coaching relationship click. Great coaches are skilled at building this authentic connection quickly. They do this by being fully present, matching the client’s energy, and showing genuine care.

This is Dale Carnegie 101. The principles from his classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, are all about building genuine rapport—being genuinely interested in other people, smiling, and remembering their names. These simple acts are the building blocks of trust.

Action Step: Level up your rapport-building! In your very next conversation, make a point to learn the person’s name and use it once naturally. Saying, “It was great to talk with you, Sarah,” is far more memorable than a generic goodbye.

More tips? We got you covered: Digital Body Language: 24 Tips to Build Rapport (w/ Science)

Focus on Empowerment

Ultimately, the goal of a great life coach is to make themselves obsolete. Their mission isn’t to create a long-term dependency, but to empower their clients with the tools, mindsets, and confidence to coach themselves. The client is always the hero of the story.

This goes all the way back to the Socratic method. Socrates didn’t give his students answers; he taught them how to think. A great coach does the same. They empower you to find your own solutions, so that long after the coaching ends, you are more capable and resourceful than you were before.

Action Step: Level up your empowerment skills! The next time someone asks you for advice, flip it. Say, “That’s a great question. What are some of the options you’ve already considered?” This shifts the focus from you being the expert to them being the problem-solver.

Want to learn how to really empower others? 141 Tips to Painlessly Make Someone’s Day & Spread Cheer

What Qualifications Should You Look For? (The Deal with Certifications)

Here’s the surprising (and slightly scary to some) truth: the coaching industry is not officially regulated!

That means, technically, anyone can print a business card, launch a website, and call themselves a life coach. This makes your job as a potential client a little trickier, but it also makes certain credentials incredibly important signals of quality and commitment.

While a certificate doesn’t automatically equal a great coach, it does show that the person has invested significant time and money into professional training, has been mentored, and agrees to abide by a strict code of ethics.

The gold standard in the industry is the International Coaching Federation (ICF), as we mentioned before. The ICF offers different levels of credentials (like ACC, PCC, and MCC) that require hundreds of hours of training and logged coaching experience. Looking for an ICF-credentialed coach is one of the best ways to filter for professionals who are serious about their craft.

Think of it like this: a certification isn’t a guarantee of a perfect fit, but it’s a powerful marker that the coach is playing by the rules and has a solid professional foundation.

Finding the Right Coach For You

Knowing the traits of a great coach is one thing, but finding the actual person who will become your trusted thought partner is another. Coaching is a deeply personal relationship, so finding the right fit is everything.

Where to Look

Instead of just Googling “life coach” and hoping for the best, start with a more targeted search:

Professional Directories: The ICF’s Credentialed Coach Finder is the best place to start. You can search for certified coaches in your area or who specialize in the specific goal you’re working on.
Trusted Referrals: Ask people you respect if they’ve ever worked with a coach they loved. A personal recommendation from a friend, mentor, or colleague can be incredibly valuable!
Niche Communities: Looking for a career coach? Check with your professional association. Need a wellness coach? Ask around at your favorite yoga studio. Often, the best coaches are deeply embedded in the communities they serve. Want to join a community of professionals with live coaching? We got you covered:

What to Ask on a Consultation Call

Most coaches offer a free consultation or “chemistry call” to see if you’re a good fit. This is your interview! It’s your chance to gauge their style and see if you click. Here are a few powerful questions to ask:

“Can you describe your coaching style or philosophy?” (Are they gentle and supportive, or direct and challenging? See what resonates with you.)
“What’s your experience working with clients who have goals similar to mine?” (You want someone who understands your world, whether you’re a creative professional or a new manager.)
“What does a typical coaching engagement with you look like?” (This helps you understand the logistics: session length, frequency, and how they provide support between calls.)
“How do you partner with your clients to create accountability?” (This reveals how they’ll help you stay on track and challenge you when you get stuck.)

Ultimately, after you’ve checked their credentials and asked the right questions, the most important step is to trust your gut.

Warning Signs: 5 Red Flags of a Bad Coach

Knowing what makes a great coach is only half the battle. To truly protect your investment of time, money, and vulnerability, you also need to know what to watch out for.

If you spot any of these red flags during a consultation, it’s a good sign to walk away!

The Guru with the Guarantees. Be wary of anyone who promises a specific, guaranteed result, like “You’ll double your income in 60 days” or “I’ll find you a spouse in six months.” Human growth is complex and unpredictable. A great coach is confident in their process, but they’ll never guarantee your results.
The Monologue Master. Is the coach talking more than you are? A coaching session should be about 80% you talking and 20% the coach listening, asking powerful questions, and reflecting. If they spend the whole time telling you their own amazing stories or lecturing you, they aren’t coaching; they’re performing.
The Constant Advice-Giver. If a coach’s primary method is telling you exactly what you should do, they’re creating dependency, not empowerment. Their job isn’t to give you the answers but to help you find your own. A great coach trades advice for powerful questions.
The Boundary-Breaker. A coach who gossips about other clients (even anonymously) or gets too involved in your personal drama is a major red flag. This relationship requires professional boundaries to create a safe space for your growth. Confidentiality is non-negotiable.
The High-Pressure Salesperson. A great coach trusts that the right clients will see the value in their work. They won’t use aggressive, “act now or the offer is gone forever” sales tactics to pressure you into a long-term, high-ticket package on the first call. They’ll give you space and time to make a decision that feels right for you.

What to Expect in Your First Coaching Session

The idea of your first coaching session can feel a little mysterious and intimidating. What are you supposed to talk about? Do you need to have your whole life figured out beforehand? Relax. The first meeting is all about exploration and connection.

This initial meeting is often called a “Discovery Session” or an “Intake Session.” The goal is to lay the foundation for your entire coaching journey. It’s where the coach gets to understand your world and you get a feel for their style.

You can expect the coach to ask a lot of big, open-ended questions, such as:

“What brings you to coaching right now at this specific point in your life?”
“What does your ideal future look like? If we were talking a year from now, what would you want to have accomplished?”
“What are the biggest things standing in your way right now?”
“What does success mean to you, personally?”

To get the most out of the session, it can be helpful to come prepared to discuss a few things: what’s currently working well in your life, what feels stuck or frustrating, and what you’ve already tried to do to change things. But most importantly, just show up with an open mind. There are no right or wrong answers!

The Different Types of Life Coaching

“Life coach” is a big umbrella term, and many coaches choose to focus on a specific niche. This is great news for you, because it means you can find an expert who has deep experience with the exact challenges you’re facing. While some coaches are generalists, here are a few common specializations:

Career Coach: A career coach is your go-to partner for the professional world. They help with everything from figuring out what you want to do next to acing interviews, negotiating a raise, and positioning yourself for a promotion.
Executive or Leadership Coach: This type of coach works with managers, executives, and aspiring leaders to hone their skills. The focus is often on improving communication, managing a team effectively, building executive presence, and navigating corporate politics.
Relationship Coach: Not to be confused with a couples therapist, a relationship coach helps individuals (or couples) improve their relational skills. They can help you understand your patterns in dating, improve communication with your partner, or build a stronger social circle.
Wellness Coach: These coaches focus on your overall well-being. They help you set and achieve goals related to health, fitness, nutrition, stress management, and creating a better work-life balance.
Business or Entrepreneurship Coach: A must-have for many founders and small business owners. This coach acts as a strategic partner, helping with everything from business strategy and marketing to overcoming the founder’s mindset challenges and avoiding burnout.

Life Coach vs. Therapist: What’s the Difference?

This is one of the most common questions out there, and the distinction is crucial. While both professions help people improve their lives, their focus and methods are different.

Think of it like this: a therapist is like a foundational architect who helps you excavate, understand, and heal the past to create a stable present. They often work with mental health conditions, trauma, and deep-seated emotional issues.

A life coach is like an interior designer and general contractor for your future. They start from the present and help you design and build the life you want to live moving forward. The focus is on goal-setting, action, and creating new results.

One isn’t better than the other; they are simply different tools for different jobs. Many people work with both at different stages of their lives.

How Can You Tell If a Coach is Genuinely Great?

Beyond a certification or a fancy website, you know you’re with a great coach by how you feel and the progress you make.

A session with a great coach leaves you feeling seen, energized, and clear-headed. You might feel challenged, but you also feel capable. You consistently leave with a sense of purpose and a concrete plan for your next steps. According to a global survey by the ICF, clients who work with a coach report higher levels of self-confidence, improved relationships, and better communication skills.

The ultimate sign of a great coach? You start to see tangible changes in your life. You’re not just talking about your goals anymore—you’re actively and consistently moving toward them.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Life Coaching

What is the difference between a life coach and a therapist?

A therapist is a licensed healthcare professional who diagnoses and treats mental health conditions, often by exploring past traumas and emotional history to facilitate healing. A life coach, conversely, is a partner focused on the future; they use goal-setting and accountability to help clients achieve specific personal or professional outcomes without treating mental health issues.

What are the most important personality traits for a life coach?

The most important traits for a life coach are strong empathy, deep listening skills, the ability to ask powerful, thought-provoking questions, and a non-judgmental presence. A great coach must also balance this with strategic objectivity and an unwavering focus on empowering the client to find their own path forward.

How does a life coach build trust and rapport with a client?

A life coach builds trust and rapport by creating a confidential and safe space, practicing active listening to make the client feel heard, and demonstrating genuine curiosity and empathy. Consistency, reliability, and maintaining clear professional boundaries are also essential for establishing a strong partnership.

What ethical principles must a good life coach follow?

A good life coach must adhere to strict ethical principles, chief among them being client confidentiality. Other crucial ethics include maintaining professional boundaries, avoiding conflicts of interest, being transparent about qualifications, and always prioritizing the client’s well-being and agenda.

Is empathy more important than objectivity for a coach?

Neither is more important; a great coach requires a dynamic balance of both. Empathy is crucial for building trust and understanding the client’s experience, while objectivity allows the coach to identify patterns, challenge limiting beliefs, and offer a fresh perspective without becoming emotionally entangled.

How do coaches avoid giving direct advice?

Coaches avoid giving direct advice by mastering the art of powerful questioning. Instead of offering solutions, they use open-ended questions to guide clients toward their own insights and answers. This Socratic approach fosters self-reliance and empowerment, as the solutions originate from the client.

What communication skills are most crucial for life coaching?

The most crucial communication skills for a life coach are active listening (hearing what is and isn’t said), asking insightful questions that provoke thought, and the ability to reflect and summarize what the client has shared. These skills ensure the client feels understood and can see their own thoughts more clearly.

How does a coach empower clients to find their own solutions?

A coach empowers clients by operating from the belief that the client is inherently resourceful and capable. They use powerful questioning to unlock the client’s own wisdom, facilitate brainstorming in a non-judgmental space, and co-create actionable steps. This process builds the client’s confidence and problem-solving skills for long-term success.

Takeaway 5 Top Tips:

To bring the wisdom of a great life coach into your own life, remember these key principles:

Listen to understand, not just to reply. Get curious about what’s happening beneath the surface of a conversation.
Ask more, advise less. Guide people to their own insights with powerful, open-ended questions.
Create a judgment-free zone. Make people feel safe to be honest and vulnerable around you.
Focus on action. Always connect a conversation or idea to a small, concrete next step.
Empower others. Your goal should be to help people find their own strength, not to become their answer key.

Want to continue onwards to greatness? We’ve got you covered: Self-Worth: 20 Ideas to Build Self-Esteem