How to Meditate Properly: A 7-Step Guide for Beginners

Meta Description Want to meditate properly and literally reshape your brain for focus & calm? Here’s a simple guide for beginners and experienced meditators alike.

In 2010, a team of neuroscientists (source) decided to peek inside the brains of people who had never meditated before. They had these folks follow a simple, eight-week mindfulness program—just a few minutes a day. Then they scanned their brains again.

What they found was astonishing.

After just eight weeks, the part of the brain associated with stress, fear, and anxiety—the amygdala—had physically shrunk. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for focus, emotional regulation, and decision-making, had grown denser. It had become stronger.

Think about that. In two months, with a simple mental exercise, people were literally reshaping their brains to be less reactive and more in control. These were also just regular people with jobs, families, and busy schedules—no monks included.

They learned to do something that seems simple but can feel impossible. They learned to sit still and pay attention. They learned how to meditate properly, and in doing so, they upgraded their own minds.

(A quick note before we start: Please note that all content found on this website is not to be considered professional medical advice. It is always best to consult a doctor or licensed therapist with any questions or concerns in regards to your physical or mental health. For a good resource for therapists, you can check out Mental Health America’s helpful list.)

Why Is It So Hard To Just Sit Still? (My Story)

If you’ve ever tried to meditate and given up after 30 seconds, I get it. I really, truly do. My first attempts were a disaster. I’d sit down, close my eyes, and my brain would immediately throw a party—to-do lists, that awkward thing I said in a meeting last week, the lyrics to a song I haven’t heard in ten years… it was all there, louder than ever.

I thought the goal was to achieve a perfectly silent, empty mind. A blissful void. When I couldn’t do it, I figured I was just “bad at meditating.”

It turns out, I had the entire goal wrong. After meditating for many years and trying many different meditation techniques from Zazen to mantra meditation to bodily awareness, I learned the most important thing from a highly skilled teacher during a retreat: the goal of meditation is to direct your awareness gradually and consistently over a period of time.

In other words, meditation is about changing your relationship with your thoughts. Not stopping them outright. And it’s normal to have your ups and downs, like any other skill you learn.

It is important to note that there are many types of meditation. However, the most effective meditation that I’ve found Is breath awareness meditation. The goal of this meditation is to focus the attention of the mind towards the breath so that ruminating, anxious, stressful, angry, or negative thoughts are more easily dropped in normal day-to-day activity.

The other type of meditation that I’ll cover is loving-kindness meditation. This meditation involves wishing good intent towards:

• Yourself
• The ones you love
• Friends and family
• Acquaintances
• Even people you dislike

Feel free to explore other types of meditation you might find (other than the two that I will cover in this guide), as some may work more effectively for you than others!

To start reshaping your brain, you just have to get a handle on these four simple variables. We’ll go through each one below.

Step 1: Redefine Your Goal (It’s Not About an Empty Mind)

Imagine your mind is like a busy highway with cars (your thoughts) constantly speeding by. The old myth of meditation is that you’re supposed to somehow stop all the traffic. That’s impossible.

Instead of trying to stop the traffic, you simply choose to turn your attention away from the highway and focus entirely on a quiet, peaceful park right beside it. That park is your breath.

The main goal of meditation isn’t to achieve an empty mind, but to sustain your focus on a single point. By directing your full attention to the physical sensation of breathing, you give your mind a job. This one simple job keeps it occupied, and over time, the noise from the highway of thoughts naturally becomes less distracting.

The purpose is to train your attention. You are building the mental muscle to place your focus where you want it, when you want it. This skill is the foundation for a calmer, less scattered mind.

Your First Meditation Exercise:

Don’t worry about your thoughts for a moment. Just sit comfortably and take three deep breaths. On each exhale, see if you can notice the physical sensation of your body becoming a little heavier, a little more relaxed. That’s it. You’ve just taken the first step toward focusing your mind.

Step 2: Find Your “Good Enough” Spot

Before you focus on your posture, let’s talk about your environment. Where you choose to meditate can make a big difference, especially when you’re just starting out.

For Beginners: Create a Quiet Sanctuary

Your mind is already going to be a busy environment. Your goal is to find a physical space that’s as quiet and calm as possible to minimize external distractions. This doesn’t mean you need a soundproof room or a special Zen garden. A “good enough” quiet spot is perfect.

Look for a place where you’re unlikely to be interrupted for the duration of your session. This could be:

• A corner of your bedroom.
• A comfortable chair in the living room before anyone else is awake.
• Even a walk-in closet!

The key is to pick a spot and make it your consistent meditation space. This helps build a mental association; when you go to that spot, your brain knows it’s time to calm down. You might even find it beneficial to put on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones or listen to a [guided meditation](

) if that works for you—but be mindful that it might be better to not strongly attach yourself to these external objects for the long-term.

For Intermediate or Advanced Meditators: The World is Your Space

Once you become comfortable focusing on your breath in a quiet room, you can start to practice in more challenging environments—gradually, of course. The goal is to be able to train your mind to return to your breath regardless of what’s happening around you.

You can try practicing:

• On a park bench.
• During a commute on a bus or train.
• In your car a few minutes before going into work or the grocery store.

Learning to meditate in a busy environment makes your practice portable and proves that your peace comes from within, not from a perfect external setting.

Step 3: Find Your “Good Enough” Posture

The next step is to get the physical setup right. And here’s some good news: you do not have to twist yourself into a pretzel on the floor!

The stereotypical image of a meditator in a full-lotus position is intimidating and, for most of us, completely unnecessary. The point of your posture is just to find a position where you can be both alert and relaxed. An erect spine signals to your body that it’s time to be aware, not time to sleep.

Here are a few options that work great:

• Sit in a chair. Sit toward the front edge of the chair with your feet flat on the floor. Let your back be self-supporting, without slumping into the backrest. Your hands can rest on your thighs.
• Sit on a cushion on the floor. This is my preferred method. If you do want to sit on the floor, propping your hips up on a cushion or a folded blanket can make a huge difference. This allows your knees to drop below your hips, which takes the strain off your back.
• Lie down. Yes, you can even lie down! This is a great option if you have back pain. The only catch is that it’s very easy to fall asleep. If you choose this, bend your knees with your feet flat on the floor to help stay awake.

Your Posture Finding Exercise:

Try a few positions for 30 seconds each. Which one feels the most stable? Which one allows you to breathe most freely without feeling strained? Choose the one that feels sustainable for you. That’s your spot—but keep in mind, you might want to change it up every now and then depending on how your body feels. Also, if your mind gets too relaxed or complacent, then it might be time to change it up as well.

Step 4: Don’t Set Your Timer (Check In Instead)

How long should you meditate for? We’ve talked about starting with five minutes and aiming for thirty, but how do you track that time without a startling alarm ripping you out of your practice?

Many meditators find that timers create a sense of expectation or anxiety. Instead of settling into the meditation, part of your mind is just waiting for the bell to ring. Let’s try a method that builds more internal awareness.

The goal is to set an intention for a duration, not to be a slave to a clock.

Here’s how it works:

1. Decide Your Target Time. Before you begin, decide how long you intend to practice. If you’re a beginner, five minutes is a perfect start. If your goal is 30 minutes, commit to that.
2. Note the Starting Time. Take a quick glance at a clock and make a mental note of the time. For example, “It’s 4:02 PM.”
3. Let Go of the Clock. This is the most important part. Once you begin, completely forget about the time. Don’t peek. Don’t worry if it’s been one minute or ten. Your only job is to focus on your meditation anchor, like the breath.
4. Check In When You’re Done. When you feel you have completed your session, gently open your eyes. Feel free to check the time if you want to—or just go on with your day if you’ve had an impactful session.

This is where the real practice begins. You’re learning to develop an internal clock.

• What if you haven’t reached your goal? You intended to sit for 30 minutes, but it’s only been 20. Fantastic! Go on with your day, or simply close your eyes and return to your meditation for longer. It really depends on your mind and body!
• What if you’ve gone over your goal? You aimed for 30 minutes, and it’s been 35 or even 40. That’s wonderful! It shows you were settled in the practice. Allowing your mind to go a little over your intended time is perfectly fine. You might want to even explore how your mind feels when you think time is up and what happens when you go further. Is your mind stressed or impatient? Noticing these feelings and then returning to the breath can help you drop these feelings and train your mind to gradually lessen them in the future as well.

Step 5: Do a Pre-Meditation Warm-Up

You wouldn’t sprint without stretching, right? Think of this step the same way. Jumping straight from a chaotic day filled with emails and to-do lists into silent stillness can feel like hitting a wall. A simple warm-up acts as a bridge, helping you gently transition and signal to your mind that it’s time to settle down.

A short, simple ritual can make all the difference in preparing your mind for the practice. It doesn’t need to be complicated—just a minute or two can completely change the quality of your session.

Here are a few ideas to try:

• Take Three Deep, Cleansing Breaths. This is the simplest and fastest way to begin. Before you start your main practice, take three very deliberate breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose, feel your belly expand, and then exhale slowly through your mouth with a soft “whoosh” sound. This action is a powerful signal to your nervous system that it’s time to relax.
• Scan for Gratitude. Your mind might be stuck on a problem from work or a worry about tomorrow. To shift its focus, quickly scan your life for three specific things you’re grateful for right now. It could be the comfort of the chair you’re in, the taste of your morning coffee, or a kind word from a friend. Focusing on gratitude immediately grounds you in a more positive state.
• Read an Inspiring Passage. Keep a book of quotes, poetry, or philosophy next to your meditation spot. Reading just a single page or a short, inspiring quote before you close your eyes can set the tone for your practice. It helps lift your mind out of the mundane and points it toward something more contemplative.

Step 6: How to Practice Breath Meditation

Okay, you’ve set the stage. You’re in your quiet spot, your posture is alert yet relaxed, and you’ve warmed up your mind. Now we get to the heart of the practice. This is the central instruction for your meditation time.

For the next five, ten, or thirty minutes, your only task is to observe the physical sensations of your natural breath. You don’t need to breathe in any special way. Don’t force it or try to make it deeper. Just let your body breathe as it normally does. Your job is to be the curious observer.

To make this easier, you’ll want to pick one specific spot on your body to rest your attention. This is your “anchor.” Here are the two most common and effective options:

• The Nostrils: Bring your full attention to the very tip of your nose. As you inhale, notice the subtle coolness of the air entering your nostrils. As you exhale, notice the slight warmth of the air as it leaves your body. The sensations are very delicate, which makes this an excellent way to build sharp, focused concentration. Just rest your awareness here and feel each breath come and go.
• The Abdomen (Belly): Another powerful anchor is the rise and fall of your abdomen. You can even place a hand gently on your belly to feel this more clearly. As you breathe in, feel the gentle expansion. As you breathe out, feel the gentle contraction. This spot is very grounding and can be especially helpful if you’re feeling anxious or your mind is particularly busy.

Choose one of these anchor points for your session and stick with it. If you chose the nostrils, keep your attention there. If you chose the belly, stay with that. The goal is to train sustained, stable attention. Now, you’re ready to begin.

Step 7: How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

While breath meditation is a powerful tool for building focus, Loving-Kindness Meditation (also known as Metta) is a practice designed to actively cultivate feelings of compassion, goodwill, and warmth. Think of it as a workout for your heart. It is an incredibly effective antidote to negative states of mind like anger, resentment, and self-criticism.

The practice is simple. You silently repeat a set of positive phrases, directing them first toward yourself, and then gradually outward in an ever-expanding circle of compassion.

First, settle on the phrases you will use. The goal is to choose words that feel authentic and meaningful to you. Here is a powerful set to begin with:

• May I be loved.
• May I be peaceful.
• May I be safe.
• May I be free from discontentedness.

Once you’re in your comfortable meditation posture, you begin repeating the phrases, directing them through a series of stages. Spend some time on each stage, repeating the four lines you’ve chosen 2-4 times for each stage.

1. Yourself: You begin by offering the phrases to yourself. This can be the most challenging step for many of us, but it is the essential foundation. Silently and gently repeat, “May I be loved. May I be peaceful…”
2. A Loved One: Next, bring to mind a person or pet that you love easily and without complication. Picture them clearly and direct the phrases toward them: “May you be loved. May you be peaceful…”
3. A Neutral Person: Now, think of someone you see in your daily life but have no strong feelings about—a barista, a cashier, a person you pass on your commute. Offer the phrases to them. This step is designed to stretch your capacity for goodwill beyond your immediate circle.
4. A Difficult Person: This is the most transformative stage. Bring to mind someone with whom you have a challenging relationship. As best you can, offer them the same wishes for well-being. The goal isn’t to condone their actions but to free your own heart from the burden of resentment.
5. All Beings: Finally, expand your awareness to include everyone. Start with your neighborhood, then your city, your country, and eventually all living beings on the planet, without exception. Radiate the phrases of loving-kindness outward in all directions.

Pro Tip: Remember, the goal here isn’t to develop some feelings of warmth or happiness if it comes great, then enjoy these fleeting feelings and recognize that they are temporary. If they don’t come, then that’s also fine—don’t expect these feelings to always bubble up, as that is not realistic. Over time, though, you may notice that your feelings shift towards more calmness and peace whenever you think about these individuals that you’ve chosen in your life.

Troubleshooting: A Quick Guide to 5 Common Hurdles

Every meditator, from beginner to expert, runs into challenges. Here are some of the most common hurdles and how to approach them.

Want to level up not only your mind, but your social skills? Here’s a great resource:

The (Short) Science of Meditation

Meditation has decades of solid research and evidence proving that it does indeed change the brain. Here are some key pieces of research to highlight the benefits of meditation:

• Meditation increases the brain’s gray matter (source) density in key areas like the hippocampus after just eight weeks of mindfulness practice—leading to better memory, emotion regulation, and perspective taking.
• In a 2023 review (source), researchers compiled evidence showing meditation’s wide-ranging effects on everything from reducing inflammation and boosting the immune system to improving physical conditions like hypertension and diabetes, plus mental health benefits like easing anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms.
• Another study (source) put brief daily meditation to the test over two weeks and found it boosted overall well-being and mindfulness while cutting down on distress—no matter if sessions were 10 or 30 minutes, sitting or movement-based.
• This study (source) shows non-meditators who did 13 minutes a day for eight weeks, resulting in sharper attention, better working and recognition memory, improved mood, and stronger emotional regulation under stress.

These are real changes for regular people, just like you and me, proving that a simple practice can upgrade your health in measurable ways!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About How to Meditate Properly

What is the main goal of meditation?

The main goal of meditation is not to stop your thoughts or empty your mind, but to train your attention and awareness. By consistently focusing on an anchor, such as the breath, you build the mental skill of observing your thoughts without getting carried away by them. This practice leads to increased focus, reduced stress, and a greater sense of calm in daily life.

How long should a beginner meditate for?

A beginner should start by meditating for a manageable amount of time, such as five minutes per day. The key to progress is consistency rather than duration. Once a daily five-minute practice feels comfortable and has become a habit, you can gradually increase the time to ten, fifteen, and eventually thirty minutes or more as your ability to focus improves.

What is the best posture for meditation? Do I have to sit on the floor?

The best posture for meditation is any position that allows you to keep your spine straight while remaining both alert and relaxed. You do not have to sit on the floor; sitting upright in a chair with your feet flat on the ground is a perfect option for most people. The goal is to be comfortable enough to avoid physical distraction while staying awake and aware.

What do I do when my mind inevitably wanders?

When your mind inevitably wanders during meditation, the practice is to gently and non-judgmentally notice that your attention has drifted. Without frustration, simply guide your focus back to your chosen anchor, such as the sensation of your breath. This process of noticing and returning is the fundamental exercise of meditation that strengthens your ability to concentrate.

What are a few simple meditation techniques to try?

A few simple and effective meditation techniques for beginners include breath awareness, where you focus on the physical sensation of your breath, and loving-kindness meditation, where you silently repeat positive phrases to cultivate compassion. Other accessible techniques include mantra meditation (repeating a word or phrase) and a body scan meditation (bringing awareness to different parts of the body).

Is it okay to use guided meditation apps?

Yes, it is perfectly okay to use guided meditation apps, and they are highly recommended for beginners. Apps provide structure and guidance that can make it much easier to learn the fundamentals of the practice. They act like training wheels, reminding you to return to your focus and helping you build a consistent habit.

What are the most common mistakes beginners make?

The most common mistakes beginners make include trying too hard to “empty the mind,” practicing inconsistently, and judging themselves harshly when their mind wanders. Another frequent error is having unrealistic expectations, such as anticipating immediate and dramatic results, which can lead to frustration and giving up on the practice too soon.

How soon can I expect to feel the benefits?

While some people report feeling a greater sense of calm or focus within one to two weeks of consistent daily practice, the benefits of meditation are cumulative. Scientific studies show measurable changes in the brain’s structure related to stress and focus in as little as eight weeks. It is best to look for subtle, gradual improvements in your daily life rather than expecting an overnight transformation.

Your Practice Starts… Now!

Remember that meditation can be a formal practice. However, the most important practice is to keep mindfulness all throughout your day. If you notice your mind going into negativity or unuseful thinking, then your breath practice helps you to divert your attention away to more useful, skillful thoughts and feelings.

Over time, your breath can be an anchor, a home base to return to every time your mind wanders—and it will! Complementing this focus-building exercise with Loving-Kindness meditation allows you to train your heart as well, cultivating a deep sense of compassion for yourself and others.

Be kind to yourself, let go of expectations, and trust that the small, consistent efforts you make each day are building toward a calmer, more focused, and more peaceful you.

Here are the key takeaways from this guide:

• Redefine your goal: The aim isn’t to stop thinking, but to gently focus your attention on your breath.
• Set the stage for success: Find a quiet space and a comfortable, upright posture to help you stay alert and relaxed.
• Use your breath as an anchor: Place your attention on the physical sensation of your breath at your nostrils or belly to ground your focus.
• Embrace the wander: When your mind wanders, gently notice it without judgment. The act of returning your focus is the meditation.
• Cultivate your heart: Practice Loving-Kindness meditation to actively build compassion for yourself and everyone around you.
• Be patient and consistent: The benefits are subtle and grow over time. The most important session is the one you do today.

If you’re ready to take the focus you’ve cultivated in meditation and apply it to your life even further, your next step is to try these calming techniques. Dive deeper with our guide: 13 Useful Techniques to Be Calm (That Actually Work)