28 Female Body Language Signs of Attraction to Watch For

Discover 28 science-backed female body language signs of attraction, from eye contact patterns to mirroring. Learn what research says about reading her signals.

How do you know she’s interested? Research shows we detect flirting only about 28% of the time¹. That means for every signal you catch, you’re likely missing two or three more. The good news: female body language of attraction follows predictable, research-backed patterns. Once you know what to look for, you’ll spot signals most people miss entirely.

Here are 28 female body language signs of attraction, grounded in science.

Can Women Read Body Language Better Than Men?

Before diving into the signals women send, here’s important context: women are significantly better at reading nonverbal cues than men are at reading theirs.

Psychologist Judith Hall’s landmark meta-analysis found that women outperformed men at decoding body language in 84% of studies reviewed². A 2025 update analyzing over 800,000 participants across 1,011 studies confirmed this advantage still holds across cultures and age groups.

Monica Moore, a professor of psychology at Webster University in St. Louis, found that men often miss a woman’s first courtship glance. Her research documented that women’s short darting glances naturally occur in clusters of three, each lasting less than three seconds³. If the man doesn’t return the gaze during any of these darts, the opportunity passes.

Why are women better at this? Scientists point to socialization (girls are encouraged to be empathetic from a young age), relational motivation (women are socialized to maintain harmony and read emotional cues), and caregiving experience (detecting infant needs before they can speak).

The takeaway for men: You’re probably missing more signals than you realize. Learning these 28 cues gives you a significant advantage.

First, watch the video below for a primer on body language:

Why We Miss 72% of Flirting Signals

Here’s a humbling finding: communication researcher Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas discovered that people correctly identify flirting in only about 28% of cases¹. Men detected it roughly 36% of the time, and women only about 18%.

The silver lining? People were great at knowing when someone was NOT flirting—over 80% accuracy. As Hall put it: “If you think someone is not interested in you, you are probably right. But if someone is interested, you probably missed it.”

Why are we so bad at this? Flirting looks almost identical to friendliness. The smiling, laughing, and engaged conversation that signal romantic interest are the same behaviors that signal someone just being nice. Our brains default to the safer assumption: “They’re just being friendly.”

People correctly identify flirting only about 28% of the time—meaning you’re likely missing two out of three signals sent your way.

The Golden Rule: Look for Clusters, Not Single Signals

Before diving into the 28 signs, here’s the most important principle in reading body language: never rely on a single cue.

A good rule of thumb is to look for a cluster of at least three congruent signals. A meta-analysis of 54 studies confirmed that mimicry, eye contact, smiling, and physical proximity together form the most reliable indicators of liking across cultures⁴. One hair flip means nothing. A hair flip combined with leaning in, sustained eye contact, and mirroring your posture? That’s a pattern worth noticing.

Special Notes on Female Body Language:

Every person is different. While there are general body language patterns that tend to be consistent across research, not all of these cues apply to every woman. Studies on female body language have not comprehensively examined women of different ages, different races, different sexual orientations, or women across all cultural backgrounds. Keep that in mind while reading.

Now let’s dive into the 28 signals.

28 Signs of Female Body Language Attraction

1. Small Touches

Women actively seek chances to touch others they’re interested in. Most women won’t directly touch you to signal interest (unless you’re already close), so they’ll test the waters indirectly by making contact seem incidental.

A subtle touch on the arm, her fingers grazing against yours, or bumping her hips against your hips all can be small touches of affection.

Research on touch and social bonding shows that even brief, light contact (lasting just 1-2 seconds) significantly changes how people perceive each other. Classic studies by Fisher, Rytting, and Heslin found that people who were briefly touched rated the toucher as warmer and more positive—often without even realizing they’d been touched⁵.

Don’t mistake one quick touch for an attraction cue. If you notice one brush, it might be an accident. But if it happens a second time or a third, she may truly be interested in you.

Watch for three escalation levels:

1. Testing — Arm brush, “accidental” knee contact
2. Affirming — Playful shove, forearm touch during laughter
3. Intimate — Face touch, prolonged hand contact, fixing your collar or removing lint

Action Step: The next time you’re in conversation, notice whether she initiates any physical contact—even something as small as tapping your arm to emphasize a point. If it happens more than once, pay attention to the other signals on this list.

2. The Darting Glance Game

Female body language of attraction often hides in the eyes. Monica Moore’s foundational research identified three distinct types of eye contact women use during courtship³:

1. The Room-Encompassing Glance — A 5-10 second scan of the entire room, assessing who’s present
2. The Short Darting Glance — A quick sideways look at a specific person, lasting less than 3 seconds, naturally occurring in bouts of three
3. The Fixated Gaze — Prolonged eye contact (more than 3 seconds) once mutual interest is established

A woman into you might play a quick glance game—locking eyes for a split second, then looking away, only to sneak another peek. It’s not staring; it’s a flirty test. If she pairs it with a slight smile or head tilt, she’s signaling interest without saying a word.

Pro Tip: If you catch her looking at you and she quickly looks away, wait a few seconds. If she glances back, that second look is the real signal.

3. Face of Desire

Women’s faces are generally more expressive than men’s⁶. If you pay close attention, a woman displaying interest will leak out signs of desire on her face.

If you’re familiar with the 7 different microexpressions already, you might be wondering, “There’s no desire expression, is there?” And you’d be right. Desire isn’t one of the 7 universal expressions. However, you can see desire in an attracted woman’s face through her lips and eyes. Famously, Marilyn Monroe was frequently photographed in a pose with lips slightly apart, neck exposed, eyelids half closed. This looks strikingly similar to a face in pleasure. Take note if you see a woman make this face while listening or while laughing. You might see:

• Her lips slightly part. Slightly parted lips signal openness and physiological arousal—breathing rate increases when someone is attracted, and the lips naturally part to take in more air.
• Her eyes soften. She may briefly flutter her eyelids at you. This may be more obvious with a slight downward tilt of her head.

4. Leaning In

Have you ever noticed a woman leaning in closer to you while chatting? When she leans in, it’s her way of saying she wants to be nearer and is genuinely engaged in the conversation. This simple move not only reduces the physical distance between you but also signals attraction.

Leaning is a universal sign of engagement—it doesn’t always mean attraction (sometimes it can be curiosity), but it’s certainly a positive sign. This is one of the 97 cues in Vanessa’s bestselling book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.

A woman might lean in with her shoulder, bringing her upper body closer to yours. Sometimes, she may tilt her head slightly as she leans in, creating a more intimate angle. Another variation is leaning in while resting her chin on her hand, giving you her undivided attention. All these subtle gestures speak volumes about her interest and engagement in the interaction.

Action Step: Pay attention to the direction of her lean. If her upper body consistently angles toward you—especially in a group setting where she could lean toward anyone—that’s a strong signal.

5. Stroking and Self-Touch

Women may stroke or touch their knees when they’re interested in someone. Of course, if she’s stroking your knee, no need for further questions. But if she’s stroking hers, this may be a subconscious desire to bridge the physical gap.

You might also see her stroke the stem of her wine glass or the rim of her coffee cup. This kind of self-soothing gesture often signals heightened emotional arousal—her nervous system is activated, and the repetitive motion helps regulate that energy.

Side Note: You can think of the knees as two “large, leg-shaped arrows” that point at a person’s object of interest. Look to see if her knees are pointing toward you.

6. Open Body Language

If a woman is into you, her body language will likely signal openness rather than being closed off. When she’s around you, does she angle her open torso toward you? Are her arms more open? Are they freely moving and not held closely to her body?

A 2016 study published in PNAS found that postural expansiveness—taking up space with open limbs and a stretched torso—nearly doubled the odds of getting a “yes” response during speed dates⁷. This effect worked for both men and women. Researcher Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk noted: “In a dating world in which success sometimes is determined by a split-second decision… a nonverbal dominance display increases a person’s chances of being selected as a potential mate.”

Women are more likely to fold their arms across their torso around aggressive or unattractive men, but if they find you attractive, they’ll open their body up.

There are two exceptions to this rule:

• Crossed Legs. Women often cross their legs for comfort. This alone is not a sign of disinterest.
• Cold or nervous. A cold room or anxiety can cause a woman to close up her body even if she is attracted to you.

Watch her body language overall—a more relaxed, open body indicates comfort and attraction.

Open posture nearly doubled the odds of attraction in speed-dating research—taking up space signals both confidence and willingness to connect.

7. Foot Direction

Ever notice where her feet are pointing? If her feet are aimed straight at you, it often means she’s interested and fully engaged in the conversation. Feet are one of the most reliable body language indicators because people rarely think to control them consciously.

For example, imagine sitting at a café with a friend, catching up over coffee. You notice another woman nearby is pointing her feet straight at your friend. It’s a small, subtle sign, but it tells you she’s genuinely interested and engaged. These little cues speak volumes about attraction.

Pro Tip: Are her feet facing away from you—especially toward the exit? That might signal she wants to leave. Look at the feet first, then check the rest of the cluster.

8. Fluttering Eyes

Dr. David Givens, director at the Center for Nonverbal Studies, says that “rapid eyeblink (or ‘eyelash flutter’) means you’ve raised the blinker’s level of psychological arousal.” When a woman suddenly blinks faster, you may have increased her level of excitement.

You might notice a sudden rapid eye blink when you tell an engaging story or share something impressive. This is a subliminal way of communicating heightened interest.

Here’s the blink in action in an episode of The Bachelor (timestamp 3:29):

Here’s the caveat: rapid eye blinking can also be a sign of nervousness. So look for other attraction cues alongside this one—remember the cluster rule.

9. Hip Rolling

How does a woman shift, groove, and gyrate her hips?

Women naturally have wider hips than men, and a woman who is attracted to you might sway her hips back and forth more than normal. The back-and-forth motion can easily be seen when walking, especially if a woman walks away from you to the bar or the bathroom.

Monica Moore cataloged this as “parading”—walking with exaggerated hip sway, arched back, and head held high. It was one of her 52 documented courtship behaviors observed across multiple social settings³.

Look for the hip sway—this movement invites attention and exaggerates the curvature of her walk.

10. Highlighting Assets

Have you ever seen a gelada baboon? Their chests are very red, signaling sexuality and fertility.

Because the chest area is a visual signal in humans too, women who are attracted to you may subtly adjust their posture to accentuate their figure. You may notice her pull her shoulders back and stand taller.

She might also stroke her neck or expose a part of her thigh if sitting in a skirt. These are ways of drawing attention to areas associated with femininity and vulnerability.

11. Hair Flip

If you’ve watched television before (like, ever), you may have noticed those Dove or Pantene commercials. Most of them have one thing in common: wildly exaggerated hair flips.

The hair flip is a powerful visual signal. It draws attention to the face and neck, signals health (shiny, well-maintained hair), and exposes the neck—a vulnerable area that communicates trust and openness. Our eyes are automatically drawn to movement, and the hair flip capitalizes on this by creating a dynamic, attention-grabbing gesture.

Moore’s research identified the hair toss as one of the most frequently observed courtship behaviors in women across social settings³. It’s a nonverbal way of saying, “Look at how healthy and beautiful my hair looks!”

Here’s a hilarious Saturday Night Live skit where Sofia Vergara and Penelope Cruz sell Pantene shampoo—you’ll know exactly what this looks like:

12. Vulnerability Displays

Women use a range of nonverbal cues that signal openness and vulnerability—ways of communicating “I trust you” without words.

• Eyebrow shaping. Women often shape their eyebrows higher on the forehead, which creates a more open, approachable facial expression. Research on facial perception shows that higher eyebrows are associated with looking more youthful and receptive.
• Wrist exposure. Showing the soft, vulnerable skin of the inner wrists is a subtle but powerful gesture of openness and trust. If she does this while talking to you—placing her hands on the table with palms up, or tilting her wrist while holding a drink—it signals comfort and willingness to be open.
• Wider stance for confidence. When women want to be assertive, they might stand with their feet spread farther apart. This “claiming of territory” signals to others that the woman is feeling confident.

13. Preening

Women will constantly preen themselves to maximize their attractiveness. When around someone they like, preening behaviors tend to increase⁶:

• Hair stroking and twirling. They might do this unconsciously while talking to someone they like. Preening the hair not only makes it appear better groomed but also draws attention since our eyes are attracted to movement.
• Freshening up. Some women may touch up their makeup during a date. If she excuses herself to the bathroom and you notice a fresh coat of lipstick, this is a signal she’s trying to look her best. Pay close attention to her appearance before and after she goes to the restroom—you might notice small but subtle changes.
• Mirror checking. If you’re walking by a mirror or window, you might notice her paying close attention to her appearance. She might be checking to make sure she looks her best for you.
• Clothing adjustment. Smoothing a skirt, adjusting a neckline, or fixing a strap—these “grooming” gestures indicate an unconscious effort to present herself at her most attractive.

Action Step: Notice whether her preening behavior increases when you’re nearby versus when she’s talking to others. That contrast tells you a lot.

14. Object Touching

If the desire to touch is strong but it may feel too soon, you might see her redirect that energy to nearby objects:

• A woman may stroke, tap, or fidget with a wine glass or the cup she’s drinking from. This is a form of displacement activity—the nervous energy of attraction gets channeled into repetitive hand movements.
• Fidgeting with keys is another form of this. She might stroke her car keys or rub them between her fingers to release pent-up energy.

The key distinction: slow, deliberate touching of objects (especially combined with eye contact) differs from anxious fidgeting, which tends to be faster and more erratic.

15. Licking Lips

If she’s attracted to you, she may lick her lips to make them shinier and draw attention to them. Licking also creates tongue movements that naturally draw the eye.

Licking lips can also mean her mouth is drying out—but this too can signal attraction, since a dry mouth is a side effect of increased breathing rate when someone is aroused. You might also notice her wearing glossy or red lipstick. Research on facial expressions and attractiveness shows that attention to the lip area is one of the most consistent signals of interest across studies⁸.

16. Mirroring Movement

If a woman mirrors your posture and movements, it’s a subconscious way of building rapport and showing she’s in sync with you.

Here’s how you might spot it: she might adopt the same body position as you, whether you’re sitting or standing. If you lean forward, she might do the same. When you take a sip of your drink, you might notice her following suit shortly after.

Another common form of mirroring involves gestures and facial expressions. If you use certain hand movements while speaking, she might start using similar gestures. You smile, she smiles; you show concern, she reflects it.

You can even see it in speech patterns. You might notice her picking up on your pace, intonations, and even specific phrases you use.

A fascinating study by Prochazkova and colleagues at Leiden University, published in Nature Human Behaviour, found that the most potent predictor of attraction between strangers on blind dates was actually physiological synchrony—when two people’s heart rates and skin conductance began to align unconsciously⁹. Behavioral mirroring (copying gestures, matching posture) is the visible version of this invisible dance. When you notice her mirroring you, it may reflect a deeper biological synchronization happening beneath the surface.

17. Rhythmic Movement

Is there ambient music playing? If you’re at a bar, club, or even a networking event, you might notice her keeping time with the music by moving her body back and forth. It can even be very subtle.

Moore classified this as “solitary dancing”—moving the body in time to music while seated or standing alone—and identified it as one of her 52 courtship signals³. Movements like these help illustrate that she’s keeping the social vibes high, and it’s a nonverbal way to say she’s having a good time—all great signs when it comes to attraction.

18. Head Tilt and Neck Exposure

A slight lateral head tilt exposes the neck—a vulnerable area—and is perceived as a universal sign of “I’m listening and I’m comfortable with you.”

Research on head tilts found that 71% of women immediately identified a tilted-head image as indicating better listening, compared to slower, less consistent responses from men¹⁰. The head tilt serves double duty: it signals attentiveness and exposes the neck, which communicates trust.

Look for a slight tilt combined with sustained eye contact. If she tilts her head while you’re talking and leans her chin onto her hand, she’s giving you her full, engaged attention.

Action Step: The head tilt is one of the easiest cues to spot in real time. The next time you’re telling a story, glance at whether her head stays perfectly upright (neutral) or tilts to one side (engaged/attracted).

19. The Coy Smile

The coy smile—tilting the head down while looking up through the eyelashes, sometimes with a hand partially covering the mouth—was one of Moore’s most frequently observed courtship behaviors³.

This expression combines two signals at once: the downward tilt communicates a degree of shyness or vulnerability, while the upward gaze through the eyelashes maintains connection and interest. Research on facial expressions and attractiveness confirms that happy expressions in women receive the highest attractiveness ratings compared to any other emotion⁸.

Think of Princess Diana’s signature look—chin slightly down, eyes looking up through her lashes. That combination of warmth and vulnerability became one of the most recognized expressions in the world.

20. The Eyebrow Flash

The eyebrow flash is a rapid raising and lowering of the eyebrows, lasting only about one-fifth of a second. It’s so fast that most people don’t consciously register it, but it’s one of the most universal greeting and interest signals across human cultures.

Moore documented the eyebrow flash as a distinct courtship behavior³. When a woman sees someone she finds attractive, her eyebrows may flash upward involuntarily—a micro-movement that signals recognition and positive interest.

How to spot it: You’ll most likely catch it in the first moment of eye contact. If her eyebrows lift briefly when she first sees you or when you approach, that’s a strong indicator of positive recognition. It happens fast, so you need to be watching her face in that initial second of contact.

21. Blushing

Blushing is one of the few attraction signals that’s nearly impossible to fake. When someone is attracted or aroused, the sympathetic nervous system triggers increased blood flow to the face, neck, and chest, producing a visible flush.

Charles Darwin called blushing “the most peculiar and most human of all expressions.” It’s an involuntary response controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which means it can’t be consciously produced or suppressed.

If you notice a woman’s cheeks, ears, or neck flushing pink during your conversation—especially when you compliment her or make strong eye contact—her body may be signaling attraction before her words do.

Pro Tip: Blushing is easier to spot on lighter skin tones. On darker skin, look for the same flush on the ears, neck, or upper chest area.

Blushing is one of the few attraction signals that’s nearly impossible to fake—it’s controlled by the autonomic nervous system and can’t be consciously produced or suppressed.

22. Laughing at Your Jokes

Jeffrey Hall’s research on flirting styles found that laughing at someone’s jokes—especially when they’re not particularly funny—is one of the most consistent signals of attraction across both genders¹.

This isn’t about you being hilarious. It’s about her wanting to create a positive feedback loop. Laughter signals “I enjoy being around you” and “I want this interaction to continue.” If she laughs more at your jokes than other people’s—or laughs at things that aren’t even jokes—that’s a meaningful pattern.

Watch for the combination of laughter plus touch (she touches your arm while laughing) or laughter plus lean (she leans toward you while laughing). These clusters are among the strongest indicators of interest.

23. Voice Changes

Most body language guides focus only on visual cues, but research shows women may unconsciously change their voice when speaking to someone they find attractive.

Some studies show women raise their pitch when speaking to attractive men—signaling femininity and interest¹¹. Other studies show women lower their pitch to sound “huskier,” which is associated with attractiveness in Western culture. The direction of the change may depend on context, but the change itself is the signal.

How to spot it: Listen for whether her voice sounds different when she’s talking to you versus when she’s talking to others in the group. A noticeable shift—whether higher, softer, or more animated—suggests her body is responding to your presence.

24. Personal Space Invasion

Edward T. Hall’s proxemics framework identifies four distance zones¹²:

• Intimate zone (0-18 inches) — Reserved for romantic partners and close family
• Personal zone (18 inches - 4 feet) — Friends and acquaintances
• Social zone (4-12 feet) — Casual interactions
• Public zone (12+ feet) — Strangers

When a woman voluntarily enters your intimate zone—standing or sitting closer than the situation requires—it’s one of the strongest nonverbal signals of attraction. She’s choosing to be physically close to you when she doesn’t have to be.

Research on proxemics and attraction shows that people drawn to others stand or lean closer, communicating intimacy without words¹². If she keeps finding reasons to close the gap between you—moving her chair closer, standing next to you in a group when there’s plenty of room—her body is telling you something her words might not.

25. Jewelry Play

Playing with a necklace slowly—running fingers along the chain, touching a pendant—can signal flirting and attraction. This gesture draws attention to the neck and décolletage while also functioning as a self-soothing behavior that releases nervous energy.

The key distinction: slow, deliberate jewelry play (especially combined with eye contact and a slight smile) differs from anxious fidgeting with rings, which tends to indicate nervousness or discomfort rather than interest.

What to watch for: She touches her necklace while maintaining eye contact with you. She twists an earring while listening to you talk. She slides a bracelet back and forth on her wrist. These slow, deliberate movements near the face and neck area often accompany attraction.

26. Palm Display

Showing the palms of the hands is a universal gesture of openness and honesty. In the context of attraction, palm displays take on an additional meaning—they signal vulnerability and trust.

Moore identified palm display as one of her 52 courtship behaviors³. You might notice her talking with her palms facing upward, resting her hands on the table with palms visible, or gesturing with open hands while speaking to you.

The opposite—hidden palms, clenched fists, or hands stuffed in pockets—signals guardedness. If her palms are consistently visible when she’s around you, she’s communicating comfort and openness.

27. Pupil Changes

Classic research shows that people with dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive by others. When someone is emotionally aroused—whether by attraction, excitement, or strong interest—their pupils tend to widen.

However, a 2021 study from MIT found something more nuanced: there may be an early, transient pupil constriction when viewing attractive faces, which could enhance visual acuity for preferred stimuli¹³. The bottom line: pupil changes can indicate interest or excitement, but they’re not a reliable standalone indicator. They’re better understood as part of a cluster of signals.

Practical note: Pupil dilation is extremely difficult to observe in normal social settings (lighting changes affect pupil size dramatically). Consider this more of a “bonus” signal to notice in well-lit, close-up conversation rather than something to actively look for.

28. Exaggerated Gesturing

When a woman is attracted, her gestures may become more animated and expressive. She might use broader hand movements while telling a story, gesture more emphatically to make a point, or become physically more dynamic in how she communicates.

Moore documented exaggerated gesturing as a distinct courtship behavior³. The logic is straightforward: animated gestures capture and hold attention. They also signal enthusiasm and energy—both of which communicate “I’m excited to be talking to you.”

How to spot it: Compare her gesturing style with you versus with others. If she becomes noticeably more animated, expressive, and physically engaged when talking to you, that contrast is the signal.

Female Body Language Tips for Flirting

Taking into account these body language cues, here are some tips for both men and women to become a body language expert in attraction:

When approaching a woman, men should never come up from behind, as this will put her on guard. They are better off coming in at an angle and then standing at an angle.

You do not need to have perfect looks to attract someone. Monica Moore’s research demonstrates that women who engage in flirtation behavior to show they’re available are approached more often than the most attractive woman in the room who doesn’t signal³. Women who signaled more than 35 times per hour received more than four approaches per hour on average—regardless of their physical appearance.

What do people consider “likable” body language? Here are some of the behaviors that are attractive and likable across social, business, and romantic situations:

• Smiling
• Having an expressive face
• Keeping your hands below chin level (above can be seen as aggressive or over-animated)
• Minimal arm crossing
• Keeping hands outside of pockets
• Triple head nods to show interest
• Intimate eye gazing (from the eyes to the mouth to the body)
• Leaning toward the other person
• Subtle mirroring

What Body Language Turns Women On?

Do you know which body language cue women find the most attractive in men? Is it:

• Exposing the forearms
• Flexing the arms
• Biting the lower lip
• Being taken

The answer might surprise you. Research on “mate-choice copying” shows that women do find men slightly more attractive when they’re paired with an attractive partner. A study on mate poaching found that about 59% of single women showed interest in pursuing an attractive man described as “taken” versus unattached¹⁴. The effect is conditional—it works primarily when the man’s existing partner is herself attractive.

But here’s what the science says matters even more: the Vacharkulksemsuk PNAS study found that open, expansive posture nearly doubled attraction ratings during speed dates⁷. Taking up space with open limbs and a stretched torso signals both confidence and a willingness to connect. On dating apps, people were significantly more likely to select profiles showing expansive postures over contracted ones.

So if you want to be more attractive, focus on two things:

1. Open your posture. Uncross your arms, take up space, and orient your torso toward the person you’re talking to.
2. Be genuinely funny. If you’re a guy, research suggests you’re better off being nice and funny than being tall, rich, or even taken.

How to Tell If Someone Is Hiding Their Attraction

Sometimes a woman is interested but actively trying not to show it—maybe it’s a professional setting, maybe she’s shy, or maybe she’s not sure of your interest yet. Here are signals that tend to leak through even when someone is trying to hide attraction:

• Blushing — Impossible to suppress because it’s controlled by the autonomic nervous system
• Pupil dilation — Involuntary and unconscious
• Voice pitch changes — Most people don’t realize their voice shifts
• Foot direction — People rarely think to control where their feet point
• Increased blink rate — Happens below conscious awareness
• Mirroring — Subconscious behavioral matching is hard to stop once it starts

The key insight from Jeffrey Hall’s research: polite flirts actually lean back and increase personal space when attracted—behavior that looks like disinterest to most people¹. This makes them the hardest flirting style to detect. If someone seems reserved but you notice involuntary signals (blushing, pupil changes, foot direction), they may be a “polite flirt” whose style masks genuine interest.

Bonus: How to Tell a Girl You Like Her

Let me bring you back to high school: You’re an awkward teenage boy, and you see your high school sweetheart staring you in the face. You don’t know how to ask her out, so what’s the best way to nonverbally tell her you dig her? Should you:

• Smile at her
• Wink at her
• Show her your muscles
• Flap around like a chicken

The answer?

Trick question—there is no right answer. By the time you’ve decided to signal your interest, she’s likely ALREADY sent you dozens—if not hundreds—of tiny micro signals that indicate if she’s interested in YOU. Signals that might have gone right over your head if you don’t know what to look for.

In fact…

Most early signaling is done by women. Women are truly the “selectors” who attract attention by displaying subtle nonverbal signals³. Moore’s research found that about two-thirds of the time, women initiate the interaction through nonverbal cues—men are essentially being “summoned.” So if you know what to look for, there’d be no need for your awkward high school self to muster up the courage to face rejection in the first place.

Knowing how to spot the telltale signs of attraction will help you be ahead of most men out there.

The 7-38-55 Rule: What It Actually Means

You may have heard that “93% of communication is nonverbal.” This comes from Albert Mehrabian’s 1967 research, which found that 7% of emotional communication comes from words, 38% from tone of voice, and 55% from body language.

But here’s what most people get wrong: Mehrabian himself has stated this only applies when someone is talking about their feelings AND their words contradict their body language. It does NOT mean 93% of all communication is nonverbal. That’s a widespread myth.

What IS true: when words and body language conflict, people overwhelmingly trust the body language. This is why learning to read nonverbal cues matters—especially in attraction, where people rarely say what they feel directly.

When words and body language conflict, people overwhelmingly trust the body language—which is why reading nonverbal cues matters more than listening to what someone says about their feelings.

Female Body Language Takeaways

Even though this guide covers 28 research-backed cues, female body language is varied and vast—every woman expresses attraction differently. Some women may be as cool as a cucumber but be madly in love, and others can’t help but signal interest to anyone who is even remotely attractive.

Here are your key action points:

1. Apply the Cluster Rule. Never rely on a single signal. Look for three or more congruent cues before drawing conclusions.
2. Watch the involuntary signals first. Blushing, pupil changes, foot direction, and voice shifts are harder to fake than smiles and laughter.
3. Compare her behavior. The most reliable indicator is contrast—does she act differently around you than around others?
4. Remember: you’re probably missing signals. With only a 28% flirting detection rate, assume you’re underestimating interest rather than overestimating it.
5. Focus on open posture yourself. The single most impactful change you can make to your own attractiveness is opening your body language—uncross your arms, take up space, orient toward the person you’re talking to.
6. Frequency beats beauty. Moore’s research shows that how often someone signals matters more than how attractive they are. If you want to attract attention, signal more—smile, make eye contact, lean in.
7. Trust the science, not the myths. Skip the pop-psychology shortcuts and focus on what decades of replicated research actually supports: clusters of eye contact, open posture, touch, mirroring, and proximity.

Side Note: As much as possible, this guide uses academic research and expert opinion. As more research comes out on nonverbal behavior, this guide will be updated.

Footnotes (14)

1. Hall, J. A. (2014). Accurately Detecting Flirting. Communication Research. See also: Hall, J. A. (2015). Behaviors that reveal romantic attraction. University of Kansas. ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴

2. Hall, J. A. (1978). Gender Effects in Decoding Nonverbal Cues. Psychological Bulletin. Updated in Hall, J. A., Gunnery, S. D., & Schlegel, K. (2025). Gender and Accuracy in Decoding Affect Cues. Journal of Intelligence. ↩

3. Moore, M. M. (1985). Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: Context and consequences. Ethology and Sociobiology, 6(4), 237-247. See also: The New Flirting Game, Psychology Today. ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷ ↩⁸ ↩⁹ ↩¹⁰ ↩¹¹

4. Montoya, R. M., Kershaw, C., & Prosser, J. L. (2018). A meta-analytic investigation of the relation between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior. Psychological Bulletin, 144(7), 673-709. ↩

5. Fisher, J. D., Rytting, M., & Heslin, R. (1976). Hands touching hands: Affective and evaluative effects of an interpersonal touch. Sociometry, 39(4), 416-421. ↩

6. McDuff, D., Kodra, E., Kaliouby, R. E., & LaFrance, M. (2017). A large-scale analysis of sex differences in facial expressions. PLoS One, 12(4). ↩ ↩²

7. Vacharkulksemsuk, T., et al. (2016). Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. PNAS, 113(15), 4009-4014. ↩ ↩²

8. Emotional expressions and attractiveness. ↩ ↩²

9. Prochazkova, E., et al. (2022). Physiological synchrony is associated with attraction in a blind date setting. Nature Human Behaviour, 6(2), 269-278. ↩

10. Head tilt perception and attractiveness. PMC. ↩

11. Voice pitch modulation and attraction. PMC. ↩

12. Hall, E. T. Proxemics framework. See: Proxemics and Interpersonal Distance. Psychology Today. ↩ ↩²

13. Pupil responses to attractive faces. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience. ↩

14. Parker, J., & Burkley, M. (2009). Who’s chasing whom? The impact of gender and relationship status on mate poaching. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45(4), 1016-1019. ↩