What is Bereavement Leave? Examples & Tips in 2025

Do you need to take bereavement leave? Here’s an ultimate guide on how to go about it, including pro tips on requesting leave and how to integrate back to work.

When grief hits, it’s like someone paused your whole world, but the clock at work keeps ticking. Maybe you’ve felt that jarring disconnect. One moment, you’re reeling from devastating news, and the next, you’re wondering how to even send an email, let alone manage your usual tasks.

You’re not alone if you’re wrestling with this!

Here’s the thing: grief isn’t a switch you can just flip off. It’s messy, exhausting work. The good news? Most employers actually get this. Understanding your company’s bereavement leave policy and knowing what to expect can lift a huge weight off your shoulders during a period when your focus should be entirely on yourself and your loved ones.

Ready to figure out how to give yourself the space you need? Here’s how to approach bereavement leave, making sure you get the support and time to genuinely grieve and recover.

Special Note: We are so honored to help you find authentic connections! If you are struggling to find the help you need, please note that all content found on this website is not to be considered professional medical advice. It is always best to consult a doctor or licensed therapist with any questions or concerns in regards to your physical or mental health. For a good resource for therapists, you can check out Mental Health America’s helpful list.

What Is Bereavement Leave?

Bereavement leave is official time off work to grieve and manage affairs after a loved one’s death. Think of it as your company’s way of giving you a legal, official pass to step away from your inbox and focus on what truly matters during an incredibly tough time.

It’s usually a short period:

• often a few days
• maybe a week
• sometimes more depending on your employer and how close your relationship was to the person who passed

And here’s where it gets a little tricky: not all bereavement leave is paid! The specific rules can be as different as chalk and cheese from one workplace to another.

Some companies offer a generous policy for immediate family, while others might have a more limited scope or require you to use your sick days or even unpaid leave—if you’re unsure, it’s best to read up on your company documents or ask!

What Is The Standard and Typical Bereavement Leave?

First off, there’s a big one to get out of the way: no federal law mandates bereavement leave for private-sector employees in the United States.

Yep, you read that right.

This might come as a surprise, but it means that for many, what you get largely depends on your employer’s kindness and their own individual policy.

Now, that doesn’t mean you’re totally out of luck! Some states have stepped up to fill this gap. Some states like…

• California
• Colorado
• Illinois
• Maryland
• Minnesota
• Oregon
• Washington

…have laws requiring some form of bereavement leave, though the specifics (like duration, whether it’s paid or unpaid, and which family members are covered) vary wildly from state to state. So, if you live in one of these states, you might have a legal right to some time.

For more distant relatives or even a close friend (because let’s be real, a chosen family member’s loss can hit just as hard), you might find policies offering one day, or perhaps unpaid leave.

• 1-2 Days
• 3-6 Days
• 1-2 Weeks
• More than 2 weeks

Who Should You Contact?

Who should you really contact for your bereavement leave? Here’s a quick guide:

3 Professional Workplace Examples of Bereavement Leave

How should you actually request bereavement leave? Here are a few ways you might phrase your request, depending on who you’re talking to and how you’re communicating:

• Formal Email to Your Direct Manager:

“Subject: Bereavement Leave Request - [Your Name]

Hi [Manager/Boss/Supervisor’s Name],

I am writing to inform you of the passing of my [relationship, e.g., mother], [Deceased’s Name], on [Date, if comfortable]. I would like to request bereavement leave from [Start Date] to [End Date] to attend to family matters and mourn.

I will do my best to ensure urgent tasks are handed off before I leave. I’ve already [mention brief action, e.g., paused project X / informed colleague Y about Z].

Please let me know if there’s any specific paperwork or further information you require.

Thank you, [Your Name]”

• In-Person/Phone Call to Manager (Brief):

“Hi [Manager’s Name], I’m letting you know that my [relationship, e.g., father] has passed away. I’ll need to take some bereavement leave, starting [Start Date]. I’ll keep you updated on my return date, and I’ll make sure [urgent task] is handled before I step away.”

• Email to HR (if manager is unresponsive or you need policy clarity):

“Subject: Bereavement Leave Policy Inquiry - [Your Name]

Dear HR Team,

I am unfortunately experiencing a personal loss and am looking to understand our company’s bereavement leave policy more clearly. Could you please direct me to the most current information regarding eligibility, duration, and the process for requesting leave?

Thank you for your assistance during this difficult time.

Sincerely, [Your Name]“

6 Steps to Requesting Bereavement Leave Properly

Ready to take that brave step? You can generally follow these guidelines to request bereavement leave, but make sure you know your company’s policy fully (more on that below):

1. Do a Quick Policy Dive: Before you do anything, try to find your company’s official bereavement leave policy. It’s usually in your employee handbook, on the HR intranet, or in a benefits guide. Knowing the basics (how many days, for whom) will make you feel more prepared!
2. Identify Your Go-To Person: For most situations, your direct manager is the first contact. They’ll need to know your plans. If you have concerns about your manager, or if the policy directs you otherwise, go straight to HR.
3. Prepare Your Message (Keep it Simple): You don’t owe anyone a detailed account of your grief, unless you really want to let them in. A brief, clear statement is all that’s needed. State who has passed, your relationship to them, and the dates you expect to be out. That’s it! Practice it once or twice in your head if that helps.
4. Make the Request: Do this as soon as you reasonably can. An email is often best as it creates a paper trail and allows you to compose your thoughts. If it’s urgent, a phone call followed by an email confirmation works too.
5. Confirm Arrangements: Once you’ve made the request, ensure you get a clear confirmation of your leave dates and any next steps (like who to check in with, if anyone, or if documentation is required). Don’t assume anything!
6. Briefly Hand Off Essentials: If you’re able, make a quick list of urgent tasks or client contacts for a colleague to cover. Set up an out-of-office email response. You don’t need to do a full project handover (that’s for an upcoming section!), but handling critical immediate items can give you peace of mind.

4 Tips to Prepare For Your Leave

Okay, you’ve bravely made the request for leave. Great!

Now, before you mentally check out, there’s a vital step that can truly protect your peace during the intensely difficult days ahead: preparing your workplace for your absence.

Create a Handover Note

Before you step away, quickly identify the absolute must-do tasks that cannot wait until you return:

• Finalize that critical proposal due first thing tomorrow
• Approve the urgent expense report before it incurs late fees
• Distribute the final agenda for next week’s all-company meeting
• Give “Steve,” the office plant, his last desperate drink of water

Create a brief, clear handover note for a colleague who can cover these specific items. Include client names, key contacts, project status, and any passwords or access they might need (securely, of course!). I once saw someone just disappear without a word, and the frantic calls and texts followed them anyway—adding layers of stress they didn’t need!

Pro Tip: Your handover note can be as simple as a bulleted list in an email draft or a shared document. Focus on “who,” “what,” and “by when.”

Craft the Perfect OOO (Out-of-Office) Message

Your out-of-office (OOO) message should be crystal clear about your absence and who to contact in your stead. Keep it professional but firm. It needs to convey:

• You’re out of the office.

• Your expected return date (if known).

• Who to contact for urgent matters.

• That you will not be checking emails.

Example OOO: “Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office on bereavement leave and will return on [Date]. I will have limited to no access to email during this time. For urgent matters, please contact [Colleague’s Name] at [Colleague’s Email/Phone Number]. For all other inquiries, I will respond upon my return.”

Brief Your Inner Circle (Discreetly)

Beyond your manager and the handover colleague, you might want to let other people know who you work closely with as well. A simple, “I’ll be out on leave for a personal matter, and [Colleague’s Name] will be covering X during my absence” is perfectly sufficient.

And if you need to step it up a notch, people skills are an important way to make others feel more heard:

Set Your “No Contact” Rule (and Stick to It!)

This is arguably the most important personal boundary you’ll set. Tell your manager and key colleagues that you will have limited to no access to work communications during your leave.

Then, honor that boundary yourself! Resist the urge to “just check in” or “quickly answer one email.”

Your time off is for grieving and healing, not for catching up on work.

If you find yourself tempted, put your work phone in a drawer, disable email notifications, or even delete work apps for a few days. You deserve to fully unplug!

How to Return Back to Work (It’s Not a Finish Line)

Let’s be real: just expecting to power through your return to work without a plan can lead to burnout, frustration, and feeling even more isolated. Grief is still very much with you, even if you’re back at your desk.

So, how do you step back into the professional world when your personal world still feels wobbly? It’s all about managing expectations:

The “Do’s” for Your Return:

• Do Know That Grief = OK!: The biggest mistake is thinking your emotions disappear when you clock in. Grief is a long, winding road, not a sprint. Give yourself permission to still feel it.
• Do Set Realistic Productivity Goals: You’re not going to hit 110% on day one, or probably even week one. Even if you’re only at 65%, be OK with that—you’re 100% isn’t going to look the same and that’s fine!
• Do Prepare for Awkwardness (It’s Inevitable): People often mean well, but their comments can land flat. You might get “I’m so sorry,” “How are you doing?” (when they don’t really want to know), or even total silence. They key? Be simple and polite. “Thank you for saying that,” or “I’m taking it one day at a time.”
• Do Ask Small Things to Your Manager: Need some more help? “I’m doing my best to reintegrate, but my focus isn’t quite back to normal yet. I’d appreciate it if we could check in daily for the first week to prioritize tasks,” or “Could I take my calls in a quieter space for a bit?” Small asks can make a HUGE difference!

The “Don’ts” to Watch Out For:

• Don’t Expect Instant Normalcy: Like a poorly planned speech, trying to force it will only make things more uncomfortable. Your “normal” has shifted, and your work life will take time to adapt.
• Don’t Feel Pressured to Overshare: You don’t owe your colleagues or even your manager a detailed account of your pain… at all! Share what feels comfortable, and no more.
• Don’t Internalize Others’ Discomfort: If someone avoids eye contact or fumbles their words, it’s usually about their discomfort with grief, not about you. Do your very best to not take it personally.

Need more tips for setting personal boundaries? Read on…

5 Quick Strategies to Set Personal Boundaries Like a Pro

Bereavement is a process that can take time–and it’s time you deserve! Here are some quick tips I’ve found to really help with the process:

• Treat your emotional energy like a “low phone battery.” Don’t spend it on calls from distant acquaintances or social events you’re dreading. Conserve it for true essentials: healing, close loved ones, and quiet reflection. It’s perfectly okay to let others go to voicemail for a while (not to mention it can be mentally healthier for you!).
• Declare a “Grief-Free Zone” hour (or day). Pick a specific time when you intentionally shift focus away from your loss. Watch a silly movie, listen to upbeat music, or dive into a hobby. Or, pick up meditation (I recommend loving-kindness meditation).
• Craft a comeback for intrusive questions. If you’re not in the mood, make sure to prepare a gentle, stock phrase for well-meaning but nosy people who ask too much. Something like, “I appreciate you asking, but I’m not really up for discussing details right now,” or “I’m taking things one day at a time.”
• Snooze social media. If you can, avoid platforms like Instagram and X. Use social media features to “snooze” or temporarily unfollow accounts. Or, just step away from news feeds that might throw you into a spiral. Your healing isn’t an audience sport.
• Delegate with “surgical precision.” You’re not Superwoman (or Superman) right now. If a friend offers to drop off groceries, let them. If a colleague offers to cover a minor task, say yes. If you’re not the type of person to normally accept help, learning to say “yes” can be a great way to let others care for you.

3 Red Flags to Watch When Taking Bereavement Leave

Sometimes, bereavement leave isn’t always easy (unfortunately!). How can you tell if your company is actually equipped to support you through loss, or if you might be in for a rough ride?

Three red flags are super important to look for:

1. The bereavement leave policy is lacking (or vague)
2. Your coworkers don’t talk about grief and loss (or avoid it)
3. Your boss lacks basic empathy skills

Let’s dive into these in more detail:

1. Your Bereavement Handbook is Actually a Mystery Novel

Some companies don’t have a handbook until something actually happens—which is an orange flag, although smaller companies are usually more adaptable and understanding. But if you’re in a bigger company when it comes to bereavement leave, vague language is a huge problem. If your HR portal or policy documents are fuzzy on crucial details—like exactly how many days you get, whether it’s paid, who qualifies as “immediate family,” or the process for requesting it—that’s a major red flag.

2. Grief is the Elephant in the Room

If your colleagues or managers tend to whisper about loss, quickly change the subject, or act like discussing emotions is wildly unprofessional, you’re likely spotting a workplace where a stigma around grief or post-traumatic growth lives. But here’s the truth: grief is a profoundly human and natural part of life. It shouldn’t be treated like a dirty secret, and a healthy workplace should make space for it.

3. Your Manager’s Empathy Switch is Off

This one can sting the most. If your boss dismisses your need for time off with comments like, “Are you sure you need that many days?” or pressures you to return too soon, implying you can just “power through” or “work remotely” while your world is reeling—that’s a blaring sign of unsupportive managers with not-so-very-great emotional intelligence. I once saw a friend at another company hesitate for days to even ask for leave because her manager always acted like personal matters simply didn’t belong at work. It left her feeling completely isolated, undervalued, and like she had to hide her immense pain!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Bereavement Leave

What is bereavement leave, and why is it important?

It’s time off to grieve, attend funerals, or handle tasks after a loss. It’s vital for emotional recovery and managing the 540 hours of logistics that can follow a death (Empathy, 2023). Without it, you’re forced to juggle grief and work, which can lead to burnout.

What is standard bereavement leave in 2025?

Most companies offer 3–5 days for immediate family, 1–3 for extended family or friends. Progressive firms, like some tech giants, provide up to 20 days or non-consecutive leave for flexibility. Check your handbook to know what’s typical at your workplace.

What is considered immediate family for bereavement leave?

Typically, it’s spouses, parents, children, siblings, grandparents, in-laws, or domestic partners. Some policies now include close friends or chosen family—ask HR to confirm what’s covered.

How do I request bereavement leave without feeling awkward?

Send a clear, brief email to HR or your manager, like, “I need 3 days for a family funeral.” Knowing your policy ahead of time makes it easier to ask confidently. Practice your request if you’re nervous—it helps.

Can I take bereavement leave for a non-family member?

Some companies allow leave for close friends, mentors, or pets. Check with HR to see if your policy is flexible enough to cover these relationships.

Grief is OK, And You Are NOT Alone!

Grief while managing work responsibilities is one of life’s toughest acts. But remember, you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it alone.

Here’s a quick recap of how to empower yourself and prioritize your healing:

• Prioritize Your Healing: Bereavement leave isn’t a “nice-to-have”; it’s vital time to process your loss and begin healing without added work pressure.
• Know Your Company’s Policy: In the U.S., federal law doesn’t mandate leave, so lean on state laws (if applicable) and, most importantly, your specific employer’s policy.
• Spot the Red Flags Early: Be aware of vague handbook language, workplace stigma around grief, or unsupportive managers, and know how to address them.
• Plan Your Request: Approach asking for leave strategically. Understand who to contact and what to say (and what not to over-explain).
• Prepare to Truly Unplug: Before you step away, handle urgent tasks and set clear “no contact” boundaries to protect your precious time for grieving.
• Ease Back In Gradually: Returning to work isn’t a finish line for grief. Manage your own expectations for productivity and be ready to navigate potentially awkward social interactions.
• Seek Ongoing Support: Grief has its own timeline. Don’t hesitate to utilize resources like Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) or professional counseling for continued well-being.

Be patient with yourself, extend compassion inward, and remember that it’s OK to not be OK.

If you find yourself needing to navigate tricky conversations with colleagues or a manager who isn’t quite getting it, mastering how to handle those moments can make a world of difference.Ready to master your difficult conversations with grace? Check out our article: 9 Conflict Resolution Tips to Win An Argument Like a Jedi